started on
my Thursday:
ink stains
darken
my pillow flesh
my writing callous

but
late afternoon sun
illuminates red
produce glows
lights up locals

then
in the Kitchen
bike grease
darkens
my manicure
what was the point?

love being both

quiet evenings
raucous afternoons
awake at
3 AM, 5 AM, sunrise

washing day:
shrouded in chill
day of the sun:
aptly named
a blaze on my skin

Dolores

soak it up:

good food + good friends
good food + good friends
good food + good friends

However, because I was making for 3 hungry craft ladies, I increased my proportions. This is what I ended up using and doing:

Homemade Raw/Vegan/Sweet Tasty Snacks

1 Cup roughly chopped dates

1 Cup mixed raisins & dried cranberries

1/4 Cup whole raw almonds

1/8 Teaspoon ground cinnamon

Because my kitchen doesn’t have a food processor, I used our blender. I chopped the dates up as much as I could before putting them in. Chopping the raisins+cranberries seemed too troublesome, so they just went straight in.

Ok, now I’m positive that this recipe is easy breezy with a food processor. Using a blender works, but it takes a lot of muscle and ends up being extremely messy! I had to keep packing/mixing/mashing/scooping out goop to help the blender do its thing. It worked eventually, but it’s never a good sign when your roomie comes in and pours you a sympathy beer just because he’s been hearing you curse for an hour! Much appreciated, but still…

In the end, I had some lovely brown goop that was delicious when I licked it off my fingers. Dried fruits (especially dates) truly are nature’s candy! I decided to let the blender rest and hand chopped the raw almonds as finely as I could. I added those and the cinnamon and dove back in to get my hands sticky mixing everything up. You really have to use your hands. I cannot see how a spoon would ever work with the density of the goop!

I decided that instead of bars, I would make little round treats instead. I rolled them using my hands and placed them in a ziplock bag. The amount of ingredients I used resulted in 14 mini Lara “balls”  I stuck them in the fridge for about an hour.

They were extremely tasty, deemed a rousing success by the ladies, gave us energy to craft well into the night, and were worth the effort! I’m not sure when I’ll try it again, because again I say, a food processor is a must! Phew…

Midday, a burrito attack waylaid my desire for pasta, but I still wanted to make the pesto. I thought a little pesto and bread would be just right for late night dinner. And then M came up with another brilliant idea – “Want to learn how to make mojitos?”

WOULD I?!*

So M taught me how to pesto and mojitos and I documented the recipes and the process for posterity (which basically means I made him do all the work).

One disclaimer: Our measurements were all eye-balled and based on “what looks right” and more importantly, “what tastes right,” so they may not be completely accurate. That being said, here we go!

Rule of Thumb: The freshest, best, high quality ingredients = the best food & drinks!

Pesto:

5 cloves of garlic

1/2-3/4 cup of pine nuts (we had to improvise with raw almonds that we chopped and roasted and actually gave the pesto a really nice flavor)

3/4 bunch of basil (about 6 stems) – remove leaves from stems & toss stems

1/2 cup of parmesan cheese

1/2 cup of olive oil

* Add everything to a blender/food processor and mix until creamy. M likes his pesto with a punch (i.e. lots of garlic). If you need to mellow it out, add more cheese.

I toasted French baguette with a little butter and we spread the pesto on. We also dipped the bread in balsamic vinegar and olive oil with a little pepper and ate a lot of those little tomatoes on the side. Deliciousness!

Mojitos:

3 tablespoons fresh mint leaves

4 tsps of sweetener (recommended: sucanat/evaporated cane juice/raw cane sugar)

2 shots per person of rum

1 really juicy lime per person (or 2 not-so-juicy limes)

Lots o’ ice

The secret ingredient: Italian soda lemonade!

* Using a muddler (or your closest equivalent) and a shaker tin, muddle together the mint and sweetener, making sure to get all the sweetener off the sides of the tin and infused with the mint. Add the rum to the mixture. Squeeze the limes into the glasses and add lots o’ ice. Pour the sweet mint rum mix over the ice. Top off with the Italian soda lemonade. Add more mint leaves for garnish/flavor, as you like. YUUUUUM!

*Mojitos are my favorite drink EVER.

Random Things I learned:

~ If using high heat, avoid using non stick pans

Next Adventure:

Basil Mojitos?!

I woke up emotional and exhausted. Lately, I’ve been having these nights where I sleep deeply, but I have these crazy dreams that are so intense I wake up feeling like I’ve run a marathon. My brain isn’t resting even when it’s supposed to! Last night was vampires + ice skating + university graduation… WTF? Less amusing, my lower back and hips have been hurting a lot again in the last week. Towards the end of the day I’ll start feeling really sore and tight and then by the time I lie down, it’s painful.

Of course, all of this whining is following a really good Monday yesterday, when I got a TON done, saw friends, got ear acupuncture, so I feel bad for complaining.

Anyway, I went to my chiropractic appointment and almost burst into tears describing my chiropractor how my back and legs were feeling. Luckily, I have the BEST CHIROPRACTOR IN THE WORLD, and he really helped me talk it out, calmed me down, adjusted my spine and my soul, and sent me back into the world feeling so much better.

He reminded me that when I started treatments with him, I was injured and overly emotional about that. I’ve been doing so much better the last couple months really allowing myself to rest, which is hard for a dancer/athlete, but I AM healing. But now I’m on the other end of the spectrum – I’m going through a lot of changes which is emotionally difficult and now my body is reacting to that, asking me to continue to take it easy and be kind to myself. Why is that always the hardest thing to do? Why do I always run myself ragged?

When I got back from my appointment, my new roomie, M, asked me if I wanted to go get a torta with him down on 24th. It was a really simple gesture, but today, it meant a lot. And it was my first torta in the Mission and it was AMAZING. I definitely want to try all the torta places near our place now! Which means I will get increasingly chubby, but it will be sooooooo worth it…

Also, I picked up some flowers for the apartment, to brighten our kitchen. I’ve been missing sunny Colorado a lot these days, and sunflowers always remind me of Bear Creek Canyon in late summer/early fall, bright against that brilliant CO sky…

Maybe the CO vibe somehow inspired my CO BFF to contact me today… a long chat with the MQ is always a life saver!

Lastly, I’m quite pleased with how a new project is turning out… more to come, but here’s a little preview pic…

Now if only I could escape to a nearby mountain for a good hike, I would feel right as rain… hopefully soon! But until then, I really am grateful for the good people I have in my life.

At Currents, my coworker friends and I would always talk about products we wanted to make. They had or were discovering their niches. I was realizing how much I love sewing and working with fabric. I really love the big scarf look (to the extreme!) – all that fabric, texture, and color, surrounding a person. I decided I wanted to try and make fabric accessories based on that idea.

I’ve always been hesitant about making art “for sale” and wondered how professional artists balance the ideas they want to create with making art that sells.

So I chose a path I’ve naturally chosen in the path – making art a gift. My friend MB’s birthday was coming up (in April), so I decided to make my first trial fabric accessory piece for her. I made a mock up version out of muslin to kind of figure out the ins and outs of the look I wanted. I was going for full and fancy! I think of this bracelet as the mama of the ones I’ve made since. And it still holds a lot of inspiration for me. Lately, I’ve been leaning more towards simpler, and smaller, bracelets, but I think there’s still a lot of richness for me in the “full and fancy” that I should delve into.

Anyway, I’ll let the product speak for itself:

For more fabric cuff bracelets I’ve made, please check out my Etsy shop!

P.S. In making things “for sale,” I’ve been able to find an answer to my question. I realized that the only distinction for me when making art “for me” vs. “for sale” is simply a feeling that what I’m making is FOR SOMEONE – an individual. Who they are, I don’t know, but they’re out there and this is for them. And from research that I’ve done and other artists I’ve talked to, what I know now is that I should continue listening to my art, my heart, and making what I love, what calls to me, what I’m passionate about – and people will naturally be drawn to that, and want that in their lives as well. It’s useless trying to gear towards and guess what you think people will buy. If I make high quality art that I love, others will love it too.

Yes!

When I was working at Currents, on Valencia, I wanted to make something for my coworkers because they have inspired me so much in the business of arts and crafts. I’ve also been wanting to start painting again, but didn’t have a lot of money or materials to work with. The project I decided on was to do portraits of my coworkers on cardboard. I took photos of my coworkers when we were at work together to have images to work from.

The first portrait I did was of my coworker friend who was leaving for a long stay in Japan. That portrait I painted with coffee and wine, which was really fun, and I did accents with pens. Unfortunately I didn’t get any photos of it because I had to finish it in a hurry. Hopefully when she comes back at the end of the month I can get some photos of it.

My other two coworker friends’ portraits I finished before I left Currents and gave them during my last couple days there. I used cardboard again, but this time my new roommate B let me use his tempera paints. It’s funny, I didn’t have a lot of colors on hand, but it worked out perfectly, as I wanted to paint the portraits using my friends’ favorite colors, and that’s what I ended up having! Sometimes, I really think having the challenge of limits actually makes art better. As scary as some of my limitations can seem right now, I have to embrace them as a chance to grow.

Here are the visuals!

My friends are artists, too – please check out their sites! You can see why I’m so inspired…

Chelsey Dyer

Rachel, aka Kokoro Kara

<3

Pistachio Thief was in the making for over a year. When I was living in Japan on JET, my good friend and fellow Kameokan (Kameokanite? Kameoka-liver? Kameoka… oh never mind – we lived in the same town!), the irrepressible Ms. Laurel Ryan with whom I had made Love Love, wrote a script for a short film and asked me to help make it happen. She wanted a mix of psuedo noir, “old timey,” silent film era slapstick-esque, and needless to say, over the top.

So a few weeks before I was set to leave Japan, we filmed it on a very warm July weekend in Kyoto in Umekoji Park. Despite our best efforts, I could never get a clear frame. I don’t know why we even bothered having extras*, because lots of folks were dead set on being in our movie, whether we wanted them to or not. A soccer team, several innocent passersby – my favorite being the granny with the umbrella who even bowed to us in a sort of apology/hello.

The shoot was very fun. Sometimes, I get nervous being “in charge,” but everything went smoothly and there was lots of laughter and frivolity, of course. Those Kameoka-peeps are a grand lot, it’s true!

Before departing for the States, I was able to do the first round of editing and we even had a mini-premiere night. I sent the movie off to Laurel’s brother, the talented Barron Ryan, who was to create the original musical score.

And then the long wait (on my end, at least), began. Pistachio Thief kept showing up on my to do list, but it wasn’t until mid-June this year that things got rolling again. I got the music, did the final round of edits, sent it back, got the final music, and BAM! It went online. So my tiny, aging Sony Handycam pulled off another project! And despite continuing to feel like a complete newbie with my friend Final Cut, I’m really pleased with the final project.

I’d really like to go back to Kyoto and film Pistachio Thief Part 2 with Laurel and who knows, maybe it will happen! Until then, I’m going to focus on my next video project, a new dance for camera I’m producing with Brendan Behan.

I’ll stop expounding now and give you what you want, via RBC, Inc. on Youtube:

* Actually, I think the whole reason for having extras is so your friends can get involved and it’s more fun!

Update: And now with behind the scenes photos from the shoot, courtesy of Dara Han!

Back in Boulder, I think it was sometime during the school year of 05-06, I was seized with this plan to get a back tattoo, but when I did the design, it was so huge I knew I was never actually going to get it. But to satisfy the urge, I went and bought a white cotton long sleeve shirt and fabric markers. I drew the design on the shirt in pale blue. The only problem was, I loved the design, but the shirt was never quite the fit I wanted.

Earlier this year, I was going through my clothes and realized that this shirt had become very stretched out and bedraggled looking, the white cotton becoming gray along the hems. But I still loved the design. So I went hunting for a long sleeve shirt that matched the blue of the design and this time was actually a fit I liked. I found the perfect shirt at a thrift store in the Mission. I then cut out the design from the old shirt and using light blue embroidery thread, cross stitched the design onto the new shirt. It took about a month in between other projects and moving, but I finished it and am incredibly pleased with it. It’s now one of my favorite pieces of clothing.

I really love fabric painting and dye work and I want to do more. Plus the cross stitching adds a really cool affect. Adding designs like this to other pieces of clothing or accessories would be a really easy way to customize and up-cycle items. I’d really like to customize a messenger bag or tote in this style.

Pictures!

The Fog from Potrero Hill

I had a pretty quiet weekend and start to the week as this period of transition continues. B & I had a roommate move out and a new roommate, M, arrive.  I’ve been cleaning and trying to organize the apartment like mad! We moved the studio and I think it’s much better now. The kitchen and bathroom are better. The common area needs a going over. As I clean, I notice a sense of ownership. This isn’t temporary – this is my space.

I’m also finally starting to get my room really set up. It’s been on hold since I moved in in June because I wanted to repair and paint over all the holes in the wall. At long last, this project is underway and 2 of the 4 walls are done. Hopefully by the end of the week, the painting will be done and I can hang shelves and art. I’m still looking for a dresser and a table and wondering how to proceed with the bed situation. AND there’s still all my stuff in CO… I would really like to have all my stuff in one place again. Oh, the lives of stuff… how you come and go!

Another transition taking place is Dr. M’s move to NYC. He has to drive down to LA tomorrow and will fly out from there. Things are really getting down to the wire for him and I’m happy I’ve gotten to see him as much as I have.

I’m doing alright with everything, but there are moments when I feel overwhelmed with unnameable, unmanageable fears.

In her book The Creative Habit, reknowned modern dance choreographer Twyla Tharp talks about fears. She advises getting specific – writing down the fears and then answering them head on. If they’re named, they’re manageable.

Here are my main fears:

1. I will be unable to make a liveable income as a freelance multi-disciplinary artist.
Answer: I’m just now starting out on this, so of course things are tenuous and tight. I just have to keep working and trying and figuring out what’s going to work for me. I have another source of income that’s also just getting settled and is still under adjustment. I need to embrace this time of transition to establish real plans and processes for my freelance work.

2. I’ve invested a lot of time and effort in San Francisco, but is it the right city for me? Am I really happy? Was this just a whim that I’m now stuck with living out?
Answer: The first year anywhere is always the hardest. At times I wish I had stayed in Japan longer simply because life would’ve been more settled and possibly fruitful after a year. SF has been incredibly rewarding and challenging in the 11 months I’ve been here. I’m building my community, but I’m still just getting started. And yes, I think I am happy here. This city is so vibrant and has so much to offer. I have friends and people who care for me. I have plans for this city. It was more than just a whim that sent me here. I could’ve picked any direction, any city, in the States, but I chose SF because it most felt like ME. I’m still discovering it, but I there’s a place for me here.

3. Am I going to be able to dance again?
Answer: My back is still recovering. I haven’t even really been on a break for a month. I HAVE to ease back into dance. And B and I have plans for a dance for camera. Dance and I aren’t through, we’re just reevaluating our approach.

4. Dr. M and I will be unable to sustain a long distance relationship.
Answer: All we can do is try. We’re kind to each other. I think we’ll find a way to make this work.

Ms. Tharp writes, “In those long and sleepless nights when I’m unable to shake my fears sufficiently, I borrow a biblical epigraph from Dostoyevsky’s The Demons: I see my fears being cast into the bodies of wild boars and hogs, and I watch them rush to a cliff where they fall to their deaths. It’s a little more extreme than counting sheep, but it’s far more effective for me.”

Getting to the heart of it: Why do I love to do ridiculous, impossible things?

Why did I move to San Francisco to struggle with art, money, independence? Why do I look at a perfectly good cream colored wall in a rented apartment and decide to paint it red? Why did I decide to date and fall in love with a man who I knew from the out set would be moving across the country?

Just as naming the fears makes them manageable, in the very questions lie the answers.

I moved to San Francisco to grapple with art, money, independence – to establish myself.

So what if the wall is in a rented apartment? It NEEDS to be red – it told me so. It will be more satisfied and satisfactory, if it is red. And it can always become cream again. That’s why paint is awesome.

And yes, I decided to date and fall in love with a man who I knew from the out set would be moving across the country. I must really trust our relationship to take it moment by moment, day by day, into the unknown.

For me, being an artist means listening. So now, I listen carefully, and beneath the trembling and dashing to and fro of my animal mind, my heart is calm. It says, steady, steady on… And I remember that my life story will look like no one else’s. I can look to friends, family, and artists who are making it, but in the end, it is MY story to unfold as it will.

And on that note: My Etsy shop is up and featuring my first generation of fabric cuff bracelets. Check it out!