My application for the full scholarship to attend the Women Who Frame the World Symposium @ ODC DANCE April 12-13
* Click images below to see the slide-show version
OR
* right-click / control+click and open in new tab to see the images in full-size (recommended!).
pencil & ink on Bristol board – all content (c) Liz Brent 2011
“inspired by a very pregnant, incredibly light and lovely, dancer”
Pencil and ink on Bristol Board
My major new year’s resolution for 2011 was to return to dance. I had been on a break since mid-July 2010 due to chronic lower back pain. My amazing chiropractor and fellow dancer, Dr. Chung, insisted a break would be good for me. It definitely was. As hard as it was to take myself out of the art form and community I long to establish myself in, I had to listen to my body. And it was saying, “Hey! We can’t dance the way we have been.” It was tough, but I had to acknowledge that I need a new approach. Specifically, I’m working on my core strength. I also just needed to take a deep breath, look around, allow some healing, and allow myself to actually sink into San Francisco a little more. Establish my roots. I should have done this when I first moved here, but I tend to rush headlong into things.
In December, Dr. Chung finally said, “Okay, I don’t need to see you anymore, unless YOU feel like you need it.” I waited until the rush of the holidays had died down and then I returned to class. I decided to take Chimene Pollard’s Mixed Contemporary class at ODC Dance.
It feels AMAZING to be back in class. And my body is happy, too. Besides normal aches and soreness, I notice no back pain! I am more attuned to when my back gets tired and I really have to focus on keeping my core active and supportive. I really concentrate on warming up well. I have this image of knitting together my abdominal muscles and my ribs – bringing everything together – like tying myself into a corset of strength. During class, I’m trying to find out how to draw power of energy out of my core to very ends of my body and beyond. Cooling down is another thing I have to pay attention to. I think as a young dancer, you get used to just being able to walk out of class, but now I know – I HAVE to take some time to stretch my muscles and let my body mellow out. Otherwise, I definitely pay for it.
Chimene’s class is great. She has a wonderful, positive, playful, energy and I love her approach to release. I think, like me, she understands the balance (sometimes, the struggle) between power and letting go. She talks about using momentum, “stacking the joints,” and I think this approach is perfect for me as I come back to dance. I can push or be gentle, as much as I need to. There are all types of bodies in our class and that everyone is happy dancing is a testament to Chimene’s approach and accessibility.
I’m also excited because I was hoping to get more hours with ODC’s Work Exchange program this month, to help with the expense of taking classes. I was thrilled at a great opportunity that showed up in my inbox: Starting this week, I’ll be helping out with the Youth Program, every Wednesday afternoon and evening, from February to May. I love working with young dancers and I hope this opportunity will allow me to do so. I’m also curious to learn more about ODC’s Youth Program.
I’m also trying some new physical activity. I finally organized and got to do something I’ve been wanting to do since starting work at the trampoline park. Last week, I attended my first Training Ground session at House of Air. Dave taught myself and 3 of my coworkers basic approaches and then we worked on front AND back flips! It was so much fun we’re doing it again this week! (Also, there’s an awesome TV spot featuring House of Air AND the Cartoon Art Museum, which I wrote about before.)
And last night I went to my first 2011 audition. 
It was for ODC’s new Sandbox Series, a program they just received funding for. As Kimi Okada, the director of the ODC School, explained, the focus of the series was how to make the art of dance better. And their answer was to provide space and funding for choreographers to experiment – without the pressure of a performance or even showings. There are 4 choreographers and they each get a 1 month of weekly rehearsal time and space at ODC. The audition I attended was to meet their need for dancers for these experimental sessions.
The choreographers were Laura Arrington, Chris Black, Catherine Galasso, and Ann Carlson – and all 4 were a LOT of fun. They approached all 50+ of us auditioning dancers with positive spirits and I felt very comfortable in their presence. There was a lot of improv, fun, quirky choreography, connecting with other dancers, working in pairs, and play. It was 3 hours, but the time flew by. I really enjoyed all of the choreographers’ energy and ideas and would love the chance to work with all of them. Whether or not I’m selected for the Sandbox series, I was happy to meet the choreographers, see familiar faces, and just feel like I’m back in the dance community again.
Looking at the first month of 2011, I’m proud of myself for jumping back into dance, trying out new physical skills, and returning to the dance community. I have to remind myself to take things slow, too. I have to keep strength training and find ways to cross-train in ways that help my body. I also have to remember to rest and allow myself down time.
This year, I want to address how to balance life, dance, relationships, and all of my artistic interests. How can I make art & dance not just a hobby, but a way of life that supports and sustains me?
A ton has happened since my last post! I flew to CO for Thanksgiving week and saw my family of friends and my friendly family in Denver and Colorado Springs. I drove back to San Francisco with my Dad, the truck, and all of my stuff that had been sitting in storage for the last 2 years and am still working at fitting it all in my SF apartment. The local high school dance department where I’ve been helping out with costumes had it’s winter concert last weekend, my roommate also performed in a dance performance last weekend, and oh yeah, I’ve been working a ton, too!
Happily, this week, I’ve finally had a chance to breath, take stock, and do important things like buy groceries, cut my hair, do my nails, and write some haikus!
Please be enjoying:
For Friends
Denver chill and scones,
Your familiar smile warm;
7-11
For Family
Thanksgiving for four -
My mother wants it perfect -
Our love is perfect.
For Girl Time
Oh, the Citadel.
Nothing has changed since high school!
Thanks for the new bras.
For Boyfriend
Between 2 places:
“Home” can be more than 1 place;
“Home” is where you are.
For Travel
4 states + my things!
How did we fit it all in?
A long desert drive.
For Dance
Hard working dancers -
Passion & inspiration -
How can I thank you?
I am grateful.
I feel like from now until January is going to be packed. My To Do list is outrageous (I know, I know, isn’t it always?), I’m working four jobs (freelance artist, WordPress admin assistant, House of Air barista, & Lick-Wilmerding High School dance costume consultant), and there’s going to be travel, guests, & holidays all rolled up into one big ball of awesome. Happily, this past weekend, MM and I were able to take a deep breath and have a little slice of real weekend to start November off right.
On Sunday, we braved the rain, a bus on parade route, and a slightly nutty, totally great bus driver, to get to the Ferry Building for the Larkspur ferry to Marin. We had plenty of time there to pick up a present for MM’s dad, bread (herb slab from Acme Bread Co.) for my House of Air staff event, delicious macaroon’s from Miette, and excellent coffee from Blue Bottle.
We took the ferry across to Marin and were picked up by MM’s mom, who drove us to their house in the hills of San Rafael. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with MM’s parents before, but we had a great time. I got a tour of their house, we had lunch, and giggled over old family albums – which reminded me a lot of my Mom’s size-able album collection. The experience made me doubly excited for my upcoming trip to CO for Thanksgiving – only 2 weeks away!
We drove MM’s car back and he dropped me off at House of Air for work. I was sad to have our day out end, but felt bolstered by the beautiful sunset setting SF aglow. I really do live in a beautiful city!
Here’s to November adventures!
“This is a man’s sport… You can’t go in there with doubts. You can’t accept failure, and you certainly can’t go into a situation thinking, ‘Oh, gosh, what’s going to happen?’ You make what’s going to happen. This game isn’t for negative emotions, or being scared.” – Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants pitcher, as quoted in the SF Chronicle
Mr. Wilson is talking about baseball, of course, but this quote really struck a chord with me.
My disclaimers: Sports and Dance are close cousins. I think professional dancers and athletes share physical ferocity, grace, and attitudes. And isn’t this world STILL “a man’s sport”? Isn’t the art world, too? It definitely feels like it sometimes.
My other disclaimer: What follows is by no means a finished or polished manifesto or artist statement. But it’s probably better that way. It’s just a continuing discussion.
DONE WITH DISCLAIMERS! Onward…
Lately, I’ve been struggling with my confidence in many areas of my life – work, dance, art, love. I find myself constantly wondering, “What is my direction?” What is my focus? What am I striving for? Why am I always pushing myself and doing what others consider to be “too much.” Is it too much? Why do I stretch myself over several arenas of art instead of staying in just one?
The answer is is that I can’t help myself. I love art. And I have a wide-spectrum understanding of all that the word “art” may encompass. Above all, I love creating, so I don’t feel the need to limit myself to one medium. And here’s the thing – I’ve begun to realize that the art, and the things that I make – choose me.
Recently, I started a new dance for camera project. I really felt stuck at some points in the process. I haven’t even looked at the footage yet, but I have this underlying fear that nothing I shot was worthwhile. But time limits my ability to re-shoot. I know I’ll have to work with what I’ve got. At one point in the process, I wondered, “Why am I doing this? I have so much going on – why can’t I just set this aside? Maybe even – dare I say it – give up on it?”
There are projects like that, I know – where you have to just understand that maybe now is not the time for it to happen. But this was not one of those projects. I know because as soon as I had that thought, my next thoughts turned to how many people I had talked to about this project, how long I had been thinking about it, the band who had agreed to contribute the music to it, even the nameless, voiceless, subjects of inspiration – this project was for them now. It’s not about me.
This is how art and dance and creating takes on spiritual connotations for me at times. I know what I’m making is good and true and solid when it feels pulled out of me – like I’m a channel for something bigger than me.
I constantly return to a quote from one of my favorite novels – Sabriel, by Garth Nix: “Does the Walker choose the Path, or the Path the Walker?” The way I rephrase it when it comes to my work is: “Does the Artist choose the Art, or the Art the Artist?”
This new dance for camera project has many themes, but the main one – and perhaps the one that I return to in most of my work – is mystery. I am drawn to mystery. Maybe this is why I feel at home in modern dance, which is an abstract art form. For me, the question is always more intriguing than the answer. In my pieces, I try to ask good questions rather than preachy answers. Of course my work is imbued with my “answers” – my perspective, opinions, background, socio-economic status, etc. I know that I only have so little control over that aspect. But I hope in a dedication to mystery, my work becomes accessible to my audience. (There is always the danger that they are not interested in the questions being posed, but that’s another factor I have little control over that.)
What I’ve learned in making dance and art is that no matter what I plan, how I budget, what I think the piece will look like when finished, the facts remain: The project will ALWAYS take longer than I think, the process NEVER goes according to plan, and the product USUALLY surprises me when finished. (At least I can proudly say, I’ve always been on budget.)
And I am often frustrated by what seems like a lack over control over my own process, but I realize how much making art is an interaction with mystery. Who’s in control here? Again, the Artist or the Art? The vision that I start with is only the seed for the garden that grows over time. We’re not surprised when bare dirt becomes a forest – how can I be surprised when the art that emerges in the end looks very little like what I started with?
This is not to say that I shouldn’t plan or budget or be fully invested in working hard in the process. It’s a balance of that and trusting what’s happening in the moment with the process and knowing that whatever the outcome, that’s what the piece IS. As one of my university mentors, the choreographer Michelle Ellsworth, said, “Listen to your art – what does the PIECE want?”
I hope I’m making sense here. I’m realizing more and more that my thoughts and statements about art really do approach a spiritual confession for me. Heretical, probably, but again, art is more than a hobby or even my passion – it’s my interaction with the Universe.
This thought is helpful to me when I return to that question of why am I striving and pushing so hard? I never feel like what I’m doing is enough. I struggle with the desire and idea of becoming a “professional artist.” What does that even mean? Why do I have certain expectations and images associated with that, that I think I have to adhere to?
My path will not look like anyone else’s.
I make what’s going to happen. But I can trust in the act of making, I am not in control.
I can’t own my art, since it was never mine to begin with – but I can trust my deep underlying drive at being a creator and feeling at one with the Universe when I create.
There’s no room for fear or doubt – only the love of the work.
Nothing like a sick day to write a blog post! Even feeling gross, I can still use my down time to get some low key, Internet, “to do,” done, right? Speaking of taking advantage of whatever comes your way, I’ve been meaning to write about some unique job opportunities that have come my way recently.
A a little over a month ago, I started to realize that I really needed a 2nd job to make ends meet. I was really stressed financially and emotionally, and so started to look for work. I felt better as soon as I decided to take action and look on Craigslist and send out at least 1 resume and application every day. I really believe that when you put yourself out there with a goal, and start looking for answers, the Universe responds. Job hunting is no fun, but I found it kind of interesting to see what I was drawn to, what I was willing to write a cover letter for, and where I could actually see myself working. Unlike when I first moved here last September, when I was basically looking for ANYTHING, this time around I felt like I was being more selective – not in a picky way, just in a “No, I want to do worthwhile work” way. What does “worthwhile work” mean, anyway? Job hunting was a way to explore the possibilities.
One of the first interviews I got was at this very cool salon/art gallery in the Tenderloin. I really liked the vibe and the people, but it wasn’t meant to be. However, on the bus ride back from the interview, I ended up sitting next to this woman who was having a conversation on her cell phone that got my attention. The subject of the conversation, and the bits of thread on her dress, told me immediately that she was a costumer. For about 15 seconds, I hesitated, then figured, “what the heck!” and turned to introduce myself. We ended up having a great conversation and I gave her my business card.
A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from her! She asked me if I was available to come help her with the costumes for the new ODC Theater Opening Gala. I ended up working 3 solid days of too many tuxedo jackets and not enough time, but we somehow pulled it off and we got along famously. I can’t wait to work for her again. If you’d like to see some of her high caliber costuming, check out her Facebook page and Etsy shop!
During this same time period, I got a random email from my good friend Mr. J, who wanted to draw my attention to an awesome new fixture in his neighborhood: The House of Air Trampoline Park.
Checking out their website, I saw they were hiring and once again, figured, “what the heck!” and started working my cover letter (with the help of my personal editor, MQ). A week later I got an email asking me to come in for a group interview. I biked out to the Presidio and was thoroughly impressed with the manager who conducted the interview and the beautiful facility. The next day they asked if I could start working right away! I jumped right in to cafe crew duties, Lysol-ing trampoline shoes, and learning the barely born procedures and answers to customers’ many questions.
The schedule is ideal, the pay good, my fellow co-workers really cool, AND I get to jump for free anytime I’m off the clock. I can’t wait to check out the air training classes, too. Barista training is on the horizon, as well as CPR & 1st aid certification. The bike commute is epic, but I kind of love it – I get to travel the scenic 8.5 miles from Potrero Hill, past AT&T Park, along the entire Embarcadero stretch of piers, past Fort Mason, and through Chrissy Field, to the converted airplane hangar that is HOA. True, some of my paycheck will be going to outfitting my bike to get it ideal, but I’d probably be doing that anyway!
Going back to my question – why does my job at HOA fit my idea of “worthwhile work”? Here are my thoughts:
- I’m working for a start up. HOA was the dream of two friends who found a way to make it happen. They are really cool guys, with their hearts and hands in every aspect of the park. That passion is great to witness and be a part of.
- With my dance background, my desire to keep up my physical training and explore new ways of physical expression, I just can’t help but get excited when I walk in the door. I really love the environment.
- I really like working with customers and doing simple things to make people happy. HOA is great because it’s a simple idea taken to new heights. In my interview, I asked our manager what her favorite part of the job is, and she said “Seeing the smiles on customers faces.” And it’s true. It’s great working at a place where people come to play and be happy.
Biking to work this weekend, with the Blue Angels rocketing overhead, I felt very lucky.
There are several projects I’ve completed over the last couple months that I’d like to showcase. So I’ve decided to write about one every day for the rest of the week until they’re all up. (Oi… this one’s a little late, sorry…)
Up until May 2010, I was a member of Loose Change Dance Company. My last shows with them were in April. The weekend of April 17th, I performed with both the main and training groups of the company at the City Dance Spring On Stage show at the Cowell Theater, Fort Mason, here in San Francisco. It was a really fun show and I loved both pieces I performed! I also performed the main group piece, Sleepwalk, again on Friday, April 30th, in Fairfax at the opening of the new RoCo Dance studio and as a part of the Bay Area National Dance Week 2010 festivities. I had to learn Sleepwalk very quickly before the first performance to fill in for an absent dancer, and then for the 2nd performance, I had to learn it again, but for a different dancer! Talk about mind-blowing… In the end, this was one of my best performances with Loose Change.
Video!
Touring, even locally, is always a good chance to bond with your fellow dancers. Hanging out after the show in Fairfax, a conversation between myself and 3 other Loose Change dancers who also identify as “contemporary” or “modern” dancers produced an idea that became reality. For an upcoming “works in progress” showing that Loose Change was hosting at City Dance Studios in July, we decided to make a piece together. We chose Brendan Behan to be the choreographer, as his idea was the strongest one presented. We originally only had 6 weeks slotted for rehearsals, but the show was pushed back and I think in the end we rehearsed for 9 weeks. I’m really proud of the work and development we put into this piece and I LOVED working with these dancers. They made the process so wonderful. It was great to be a part of that process, especially when I was just starting to go through some major decision making and changes which led me to where I’m at now. I felt so supported in rehearsals. The showing was a really fun event, too. It’s always interesting to perform in an intimate space with the audience right there with you! And a lot more people came than we expected. It was great to see Loose Change and the other guest performances, too.
Enjoy!